Love is Pain
by justbeache
Summary: Set at the end of Dangerous Liaisons, Stefan doesn't leave Elena on the doorstep.


A/N - It's been so long since I've been inspired to write a story but 3x14 definitely put me a good frame of mind for this story.

Set at the end of Dangerous Liaisons as Stefan is telling Elena that if he allows himself to feel, all he feels is pain.

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><p>Stefan turns to leave her once again and Elena stops him. Catching his arm and pulling him into her arms. She whispers to him "Please, just show me you still care, even if it's just for the night. I need you."<p>

She brings his lips to hers and kisses him with all the pent up longing of missing him for so many months. He tries to pull away but she won't let him go, after his initial resistance, he gives into her kisses, as they stand on the porch lost in each other arms. For them, it had been months since they had made love but they still knew each others signs so well, Stefan knew what she was asking and he wanted it too, picking her up and carrying her back inside.

He vamp speeds them upstairs, sitting her down outside her bedroom door. She's reaching for his bow tie, tossing it aside and starts working on his shirt as he quickly sheds his jacket and goes for the zipper on her dress. Stefan pauses between kisses to lock eyes with Elena but she knows he's trying to give her a chance to change her mind, so instead of speaking, she brings his lips back to hers, pulling him into her bedroom.

He helps her step out of her dress, laying it aside and leading her to the bed. Their kisses continue until Elena climbs backwards onto the bed, pulling Stefan on top of her..

Stefan leaves her mouth and kisses down her neck, while ridding her of her bra and placing his hands over her breast before moving to give each equal attention. She tugs his hair and brings his lips back to hers.

Their kisses are not gentle and neither one of them were really in the mood for slow, it had been so long, that they couldn't wait. He removed his pants and reaches for her panties, sliding them down her legs. He can't resist the urge to place kisses inside of her thighs. He's kisses are driving her wild because they are everywhere but where she needs him to be. Feeling desperate to feel his mouth upon her. She begs him to kiss her and finally he relents, putting his mouth where she needed him most. Her body is melting under his ministrations, after several minutes and a few well placed flicks of his tongue, he knows she's ready for him now. Stefan raises his head looking into her eyes as he moves himself between her things to join their bodies.

Elena circled her arms around him drawing his mouth back to hers and tasting herself on his tongue. Thrusting her tongue in his mouth as the thrusts himself into her. They can't stop. They can't get close enough. He places his hands under her butt, burying himself as far as he can and still it's not enough, he needs more. The urge, the drive, it's making them move together, faster and faster.

So many times they had made love, but this was different, this was sex and longing. Pure and simple, fucking. She lowered her hands to his ass, grabbing and trying to pull him closer, as he increased their speed rocking the headboard against the wall. Elena was clutching him to her, trying to get closer than humanly possible. Stefan could feel her coming apart in his arms, he couldn't quit kissing her, thrusting his tongue in her mouth in sync with what the other parts of their joined bodies were doing . Soon the force of his thrusts and the clenching of her body around his signaled they were both reaching climax together, Elena shouted his name as her body milked Stefan of his release.

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><p>Stefan watched as Elena lay slumbering in his arms, her nude body intertwined with his. He needed to get away, he was feeling too much. He slowly slips from the bed, pulling the covers over her naked body, his hand stroking the underside of her left breast before reaching for his tuxedo pants on the floor. Stefan looks back once more as he quickly dresses to leave. Barely resisting the urge to climb back into the bed and have her again and again. But he knows if he stays, he will never leave and right now the pain of the guilt he is feeling is overriding all his feelings for Elena. It's to painful to love her, she could die, he could lose her to his brother. Feeling that over whelming surge of emotion, causes him to shut down. He can't feel, if he shuts it off, then it doesn't matter, he tells himself. Nothing matters.<p>

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><p>The lights are on at the Salvatore mansion, as Stefan walked through the door. Stepping inside the front hall, he noticed all the various articles of clothing strewn about. Curious as to who they belonged to, soon became apparent when he heard the sounds of mutual pleasure being shouted from the library.<p>

"Rebekah." I 'know' that voice." Stefan thought to himself as he heads towards his room, wondering why Damon choose this particular bedmate especially since she tried to kill Elena recently and Matt tonight.

And really trying not to think about all the other woman that he and his brother had shared over the years. A psychologist would have a field day studying them, siblings that seemed destined to either love or hate each other with equal intensity. And it seemed they were always destined to go for the same women.

Stefan thinks back over his long life and realizes that every time he thought about meeting the sun, he would always stop and think about how Damon would find out and he just couldn't bring himself to end it all without resolving their issues. But somehow, their issues were never resolved. They constantly come back up against the same thing that tore them apart in the first place. Katherine. And now Elena.

He guessed that He and Damon hadn't really been on the same page since they were human and that's why Damon is the person that frustrated him the most. The one that he loves and hates the most. This is why it's easier to not feel.

If he doesn't feel, he doesn't feel bad that Katherine loved him more than Damon. If he doesn't feel, he won't feel bad that Damon is fucking his ex Rebekah. And how Elena will feel when she finds out. If he doesn't' feel, it won't matter that his brother loves the girl that he loves. And could possibly win her for himself. Yes, it's better this way.

Emotionless, no feelings Stefan. That's who he is now. Tonight, when he was in Elena's arms, he felt himself thawing and he couldn't deal with the overwhelming feelings that making love to her had brought to the forefront. He needed to preserve his hard fought sanity. He had been to hell and back and now he just wanted some peace.

Tossing his tux haphazardly on his leather sofa, he grabbed his journal, as he made his way to his bed. Stefan penned the only entry in that days page: 'Pain is love and love is pain. The two are so closely matched, they could be one and the same."

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><p>AN

I left it open for part II, please review if you liked the story. (Reviews = part II) ; )


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